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     Jennifer Nappi has a countdown on her phone set for Feb. 26, 2024.  It marks the three years, 11 months, two weeks and two days until her fiance, Scott, is released from prison. 

     “When I sit here and I think about it, I have a light at the end of my tunnel,” Nappi said, “I have that countdown. I know in three years, how many ever, Scott's walking out those doors.  There’s a light.  80% of those women don’t have a light. 

The women Nappi is referring to are the millions that are affected by having an incarcerated family member.  Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, spouses and others are all impacted by the imprisonment of a loved one. Half of American adults, 113 million people, have had a family member incarcerated, according to a report by FWD.us and Cornell University.

 

     The study shows that one in seven adults have had an immediate family member incarcerated for longer than one year, and one in 34 have had an immediate family incarcerated for more than 10 years.

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     It is estimated that for every one person incarcerated there are at least five family members affected.  A recent study published by the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights titled “Who Pays?” detailed the true cost of incarceration: The impact that prison has on the families and loved ones of inmates. The report detailed challenges to meet basic needs, economic burdens, damage to relationships with loved ones and the mental and physical health strains that families go through when a loved one is incarcerated.  

     No one knows more about these burdens than Kim Lawrance, whose daughter was sentenced to serve time in an adult female prison at only 17 years old.  Kim’s daughter, Taylor, was convicted of armed robbery and sentenced to 10 years behind bars. 

     “Us family members, we do the time with them,” Lawrance said, “And depending how long the time is, the process of grievance is very comparable to the process of death grievance.”

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      In an online video Lawrance posted in 2017, she describes the stages of denial, anger, sadness and, at some point, acceptance many endure after a family member or loved one is incarcerated. However, the most significant loss families face is the time and experiences that will be missed by those incarcerated.  For Lawrance, she will miss out on an entire decade of her daughter’s life, including the last years of her teens and her early adulthood. 

     “You start thinking about, my gosh, what kind of life is she going to have?  She’ll never be able to cheerlead again, because that’s what she was, she was a competitive cheerleader. I won’t get to see her walk down the aisle at a traditional graduation.  You won’t get to see her do the normal teenage things that lots of the parents get to see their kids do.  So there’s a lot of sadness,” she said. 

.    Lawrance is not alone in grieving over lost experiences.  Jennifer Nappi’s fiance, Scott, lost his mother while serving time in prison.  One of the experiences he missed was attending his own mother’s funeral.

     “That's what he did with rock bottom,” Nappi said, “He realized he was at his lowest lows and he reflected back on his life and he realized that the drugs, the crime, all this wasn't worth it because his mom was his best friend.”

The devastating blow of the death of Scott’s mother was delivered to him not by a family member or those closest to him, but by the prison chaplain. 

     “You know, like he still talks about it and my heart breaks for him because he has no closure. Like he wasn't able to go to her funeral. He wasn't able to say goodbye. But I think for him it was a turning point because now he says he doesn't fit into that world no more,” Nappi said. 

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     Research by the Ella Baker Center suggests that “incarceration damages familial relationships and stability by separating people from their support systems, disrupting continuity of families, and causing lifelong health impacts that impede families from thriving.”  Some of the greatest health impacts that families face include increases in anxiety, depression and chronic stress.   The majority of participants surveyed in the Ella Baker Center’s study reported that they experienced negative mental health impacts after their loved one was incarcerated.  Among the most serious of these results were post-traumatic stress disorder and separation disorder. 

 

     However, survey data also showed that when families reported that they were able to stay in regular contact, through visits or phone calls, were less likely to report negative health impacts associated with incarceration.

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     Still, the cost of staying in touch with an incarcerated loved comes at a price.  For many, visitation is often far, costly, and requires a form of reliable transportation.  Frequent collect calls to prisons begin to add up for those families who may be struggling financially.  

     Kim Lawrance travels over 200 miles to visit her daughter every other week.  “It’s so hard on the families financially, time-wise, you know, people have to work.  Not everyone can afford to go visit.  She’s just one of the luckier ones and so am I because not everyone gets to visit.” 

     On top of the costs that come with visitation, families are often saddled with fines, fees and debt that come with the criminal justice process and to support their loved ones in prison.  For many, losing a family member to the prison system often means the loss of part of a household’s income.  Nearly 1 in 5 survey participants from the Ella Baker Center’s study reported that they were unable to afford housing due to the loss of income resulting from their loved one’s incarceration. 

Jennifer Nappi has spent over $1,000 on legal advocates, $120 to obtain medical records and must transfer $5 to her fiance’s account every time he visits the doctor. Both Nappi and Lawrance must transfer funds regularly so that their incarcerated loved ones can afford items like clothing, food, and other necessities while serving time. 

     On top of the added financial stress that comes with having a loved one imprisoned, families also face humiliation, stigma, and isolation from the outside world.  Due to the stigma of incarceration, Jennifer Nappi has withheld most details of her fiance, Scott, from her own family.  

     “My family doesn’t know anything about him because, to them, he’s just a criminal,” she said, “Nobody wants to see past the blue suit, no one wants to see past the fact that you can only go and see him for six hours.  Nobody wants to see the person...and I’ve got a really good person.”   

     Kim Lawrance has also faced her fair share of judgment from others for supporting her daughter while in prison.  “You also go through humiliation,” Lawrance said, “People are always saying stuff like ‘Where are the parents? Where were you?’ Sleeping like the rest of the world.  They'll say stuff like ‘Well apparently if your child can do the crime, they can do the time.’  Yeah, we’ve heard that cliche before.  They are doing their time.  We’re doing the time with them, and then some.” 

     However, despite the shame, anxiety and financial burdens, these women are determined not to give up on their loved ones.  

     “Not having him in my life is just not feasible,” Nappi said, “So whatever we go through, I’d rather go through it with him than not have anybody to go through it with.  You have to have tough skin.” 

Lawrance has turned her journey of supporting her daughter into a work of advocacy, encouraging prison reform legislation, lobbying at the Florida state Capitol and helping others find support and resources through several prison Facebook communities.  

 

“You have to show that you’re there, you have to show that you care.  So I took it to the extreme,” said Lawrance, “I am here, I do care and I’m beside my daughter no matter what.  

 

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     Research shows that those who do keep frequent contact with their families while in prison have a much higher chance at having a successful reentry process and less likely to commit another offense once released.  According to the National Institute of Corrections, families take several steps to help ensure that communication and the reentry process of their loved one goes unhindered by obstacles.  First, families should provide transparency and communication regarding the incarcerated parent’s scheduled release date, time, and location, whenever possible.  Next, offer support to their loved one throughout the entire incarceration process and after they are released; continuity of care is key in helping families achieve and maintain their reentry goals.  Lastly, families should seek support in the form of communities or mental health services for themselves in order to avoid the negative health impacts that come with caring for an incarcerated loved one.  

     If you or a loved one is on a journey of supporting a loved one in prison in the state of Florida, visit the Florida Cares Facebook page to join a community of families and loved ones that are supporting those incarcerated and offering shared resources.